We learn about our sexuality—acting male or female—from the parent of our own sex, but we learn about our sensuality—being feminine or masculine—in our relationship with our parent of the opposite sex. Let me add what is actually an inconsistency … Continued
Let’s apply this notion to the concept of being a couple. Your script for life, which influences your values, beliefs, and attitudes (and consequently, what you think, feel, say, and do), also contains rules, or guidelines, about being a couple … Continued
Here’s an example from my own life story. My father grew up in a very large family during a difficult time in history. He was born in Europe just after the First World War and was the second youngest of … Continued
So, if Dad got mad when something went wrong, you might get mad and respond in the same way he did. Or, maybe your mother got sad when something went wrong, and depending on your personality and your closeness to … Continued
We also know the power of the subconscious mind, since every day we do so many things without even thinking. We shower, get dressed, brush our teeth, have breakfast, and get ourselves to work and home again without even giving … Continued
Family and Cultural Scripts When you were born into your family, you were presented with your script for life. The script is the programming you undergo that defines how your life will be lived out—it’s not much different from a … Continued
Berne, like many others studying human behaviour at the time, suggests that a childlike stance is more likely to occur in a person’s third or fourth decade of life, after the skills to ensure survival have been fully developed. By … Continued
Many couples use the state of their sex life as a barometer for what is going on in the rest of their relationship. I also suggest that the converse works as well: what is going on in your relationship and … Continued
Many years ago, people believed that a healthy relationship looked like this: two complementary halves making a whole. Now we understand that a relationship that looks like this is far from complementary and where generally one person in the couple … Continued
The Main Categories of Counsellors Many people are somewhat afraid and ashamed when it comes to help, especially on the topic of feelings, mentality and psyche. Realizing there’s a problem and a need for it to be solved is the … Continued