Creating Change Through Counselling (Part 1)

Creating Change Through Counselling

The Main Categories of Counsellors

Many people are somewhat afraid and ashamed when it comes to help, especially on the topic of feelings, mentality and psyche.

Realizing there’s a problem and a need for it to be solved is the first step in solving it.

There are a few different categories when it comes to therapy in general. Counsellors fall into one of four main categories: behaviour therapy, cognitive therapy, counselling, or psychotherapy.

None of them is better than the other and each of them can lead to the effect that is being wanted, namely inner peace and happiness.  Choosing the right method and the right counsellor is a personal choice and the decision should be based on a number of details, most importantly being how you feel about the Counsellor as a person and the way the therapy is being conducted.

A behavioural approach asks you to change what you do to more closely align with the life you wish to have for yourself. A cognitive method works with your thoughts and the self-talk (the constant chatter that goes on inside your head) that goes with those thoughts. A well-qualified therapist asks questions that challenges your thinking and will guide you to consider new ideas that can help you reach your goals.

A counsellor usually listens to you and guides you to name your feelings as well as exploring your emotions around events in your life. They help you get to the core of your emotions and events of your life that led you to those feelings in the first place.

It is very common that when you share your feelings and thoughts, and hear yourself expressing them out loud, they become smaller less potent. As they say: “A problem shared is a problem halved.” The more you share the smaller these issues can become as your ideas, and responses to what happened, begin to take a new and more rational shape.

This is the way to eliminate old, unwanted habits while opening the way for you to create new ones.

Psychotherapy works in a different way, but still similar. The process here is firstly going into your past and the way your mind is used to respond to old beliefs and situations. In general psychotherapy is a term invented by the father of modern day Psychology, Sigmund Freud, a Psychiatrist from the beginning of the twentieth century, and it means that it takes care of the spirit and the psyche of the client. While very practitioners use Freud’s techniques now, It uses techniques to explore your past, even the things that seem small and harmless, but that reflect on you everyday life via your subconscious mind where everything that has ever happened to you in your life is stored.

Change Your Beliefs to Make Change in Your Life

Psychotherapy is most interested in getting to the heart of you where your values, attitudes and beliefs exist. We all have a script lying deep within us, the core of core of which remains somewhere hidden creating problems and discomfort that comes from inside and spreads around us, ultimately finding expression in our relationships.

For any permanent change to happen our subconscious mind needs to be looked at – the past and the script it created in our thoughts and behaviours.

For example, if something is not going right in your life this is where you will find the answer. So, if your husband is arguing with you maybe there is something in your own script that is allowing that. People usually are eager to complain about what others do and say, tending to be judgemental, but really, we are nothing but mirrors for each other. It appears that the problem usually is in us and our perception of us. A very common example is where the husband’s behaviour is disrespectful and that he may need to re-think and change it, but actually the problem equally lays in the way the wife behaves and mainly the value she holds of herself which is directed by the script she believes in. It becomes a “Catch 22”: Her self-esteem is low so he mistreats her and as he mistreats her, her self-esteem diminishes even further.

If you truly believe in your heart that you deserve to be treated with absolute respect then you will not accept anything less. You will be clear in your message to another that it is not OK how they are treating you and you may be surprised to know that will then be how they will treat you. Amazingly you will interpret what they do differently as well. You will be more likely to understand that this is more about the other than about you. You may even be able to find compassion and love for that person rather than disdain.

Let me know your thoughts on this topic and any further qualification you would like regarding how this works. I will also expand on this topic over the next few blogs to explain this topic further.

To the wonder of you,




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