Why Couples Fight?

Why Couples Fight?

Adam and Emily had been in a relationship for two years and were contemplating marriage. The issue however was that they could never agree on anything and even less so when the conversation turned to how they might fulfill their marriage vows.

Adam was an only child growing up and was used to having most things he wanted without having to share with siblings. He was fun loving and ambitious and well-liked by his mates and work colleagues. Emily was the youngest of five children and so was used to speaking loudly to have her voice heard at all.

Adam and Emily met at a work function where they immediately “hit it off” and became great friends. It wasn’t long before they decided that because they were spending so much time at each other’s place they might as well move in together.

That’s when things started to get difficult. Their lives were deeply intertwined and as they lived together and worked together they also socialized together so there was little time separate from each other.

The fighting escalated when Adam wanted to spend more time on his own separate from Emily. Consequently Emily often went home by herself. Adam would come home late and could not understand when Emily questioned him about his movements and who he was with. In truth he was most often at the gym or just spending time playing his computer games back in his office.

When they came in to see me they were both wondering if their relationship was over and if they should break up. They were clearly at stage 2 of their relationship and were struggling with the idea of one of them attempting to reestablish his independence.

How to deal with such conflicts? It will be the topic of my next blog post.

Please share your thoughts in the comments below.

To the wonder of you,

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