Category Family

April 30, 2015,  Family, Relationship  No comments

Do you know the image of the Eternal bachelor, of Casanova, with a charming smile and shining eyes? This is the image of the love addict striving to always feel, at any price, in love and part of an endless honeymoon. This is an archetype for many main characters in movies and novels. Whether you recognize them in the movies, on the street or in the flower shop, you can be sure that this person will give you an unforgettable honeymoon, but it will not be forever.

You Might As Well Face It; You’re Addicted to Love

Some people are so addicted to love that they skip from one relationship to another just to experience the buzz of a new relationship rather than endure the heartache that Stage 2 may create.

So, instead of searching for what could come next, they abandon the relationship and se...

January 21, 2015,  Family, Games People Play, Relationship, Script  No comments

I was at the shopping centre last week finishing off my weekly shopping. I opened the car boot and was putting my shopping bags in when I overhear a conversation between a woman and a friend. They had parked their car next to mine and were gathering their things to obviously go and do some shopping of their own.

I heard one woman say that she was sick of still having to cook for her adult sons especially when they always wanted something different from each other and obviously made their wants clear. Then she spoke about her husband who had his own wants when it came to the meals that this woman would prepare for them. She complained bitterly that they all still relied on her to do not just their cooking but their cleaning and washing as well...

January 12, 2015,  Family, Games People Play, Relationship, Script  No comments

Every family is a multifaceted reflection of the surrounding world. In this variegated kaleidoscope of personalities and tempers we distinguish three basic behavioural models: the Aggressor, the Helpless, and the Martyr.

These three roles describe the life positions from which people play their games on a daily basis in their lives which is a means to support the basic life script that these same individuals live their lives by.

Regardless of whether the case is about a family of four or a household that includes three generations living under the same roof, each of the above roles is generally present in at least one of the household members. So if there is one clear Aggressor in the family, then inevitably there will be more than one Helpless or Martyr...

January 4, 2015,  Family, Games People Play, Relationship, Script  No comments

If you have met them, you will recognize their characteristics and relationships with them will bring you nothing but feelings of frustration, helplessness and may be even despair as there is no winning with them.

We are talking about the Aggressors of the world. The game these people play follows the principle: “I must win at all cost!” In one way or another, they attempt to make themselves the reason for when things go right in their lives while blaming others when things go wrong in their lives; they under-value the efforts of their partner in relationship or completely suppress their partner’s right to express himself / herself.

In truth both types of behaviour lead to a no-win outcome.

How does this game begin? It invariably starts with a parent who is also an Aggressor...

December 3, 2014,  Family, Relationship, Script  No comments

A Talk with Vanessa and Mark

The story of “Vanessa” and “Mark” that I recently shared with you is the story of a search for the point of intersection between two very different people with very different conflict management styles.

If you need a reminder of their story pop back and see the previous article where I first introduced you to them.

As you review their story you may be able to empathise with Vanessa and yet you may also understand what Mark is experiencing and be able to empathise with his experience as well. This life setting is as real as the stories of any couple you may know. It is unknown to some, but so painfully experienced by others.

This is a story of the “family secrets” – which we can, though sometimes not very successfully, manage to transfer from our pat...

November 25, 2014,  Family, Relationship, Script  No comments

You know how women describe the man of their dreams, don’t you? Women picture him as a handsome man emitting sex-appeal, having a sense of humour, showing his concern and just acting nicely, hard-working and dedicated…

Of course, there is no woman in this world that would state it aloud and consciously – I want him to be rude, despotic and inclined to violence. And “Vanessa” is just one of them, and so are you, and so am I. Each woman dreams to have a worthy partner by her side, one to share her life with.

Now let me tell you Vanessa’s story with “Mark”. They both, just like any other couple, were looking for answers. They were in search of their own selves and were ready to work for their relationship...

November 19, 2014,  Exercise, Family, Relationship, Script  No comments

Do you want to know more about what your script is telling you about what’s happening in your relationship? Look for the link below and complete this exercise.

Every couple has their own complex relationship. And that is what makes the balance between the couple sometimes so difficult to maintain.

However, as human nature would have it we are prone to embark again and again on new relationships, still believing and hoping that this time something magical will happen and it will be different.

I have shared many of my experiences with you and I have revealed the reasons for confrontations that happen between both partners...

November 12, 2014,  Family, Fundamental Human Needs  No comments

What do kid’s thoughts hide?

Every child is an individual and unique in the eyes of his/her parents. But what happens when a child does not understand the actions of his/her own parents?

It is really important to understand that the child’s thinking pattern is different from that of an adult. Very young children can really only think in concrete terms. That is, to them, something only exists if it can be seen, and it only exists in one form. The expansion in thinking follows a developmental path just as physical growth does.

Emotional growth also follows a developmental path. A young child feels all their feelings intensely and without any real capacity to control them. Just imagine a child throwing a temper tantrum and what’s really going on for them...

November 5, 2014,  Family, Fundamental Human Needs, Script  No comments

Why we choose to be a Victor, Visitor or Victim

In previous articles we took a closer look at the basic features of the three typologies of human behaviour, namely: Victor, Visitor or Victim. However, a small secret has remained unrevealed – Why we choose to be a Victor, Visitor or Victim. I guess you are asking yourself why, despite willing to be Victors, we more and more often see ourselves as Visitors, and even worse for our ego – Victims. Where and how does our view of life transform? The answer, as usual, is short and very simple – within ourselves, in our views formed in early childhood.

And please, let me underline one more point here:

Visitors and Victims exist simply because survival is the prime concern for the child we all once were.

In the story of Alex and Tamara

October 27, 2014,  Family, Relationship, Script  No comments

Once upon a time there was a prince and a princess from a faraway kingdom. I love nice stories that end with happy ever after but this is not always the way it works out.

Here is the story of Alex and Tamara who are struggling with their relationship now. A relationship that is going to require them to make some decisions about their future if they want to get to “happy ever after”.

As you read their story don’t judge them harshly. I’ll explain why later.

Does this sound a bit like you or someone you know?

“Tamara” and “Alex” met each other when they were both seventeen and still at school. They married when they were twenty. They live in a modest home in the suburbs with their son...