Category Family

October 15, 2014,  Family, Script  No comments

I have already spoken about Victors and Visitors. Now I want to talk about Victims. This is the life position of a person who never quite makes it. Who always seems to be left behind or misses out when something is being given out.

A Victim is simply a person for whom everything seems to go wrong (nothing ever seems to go right, either), and a person who thinks that everyone has it in for him or her.

Let me tell you a short story that takes place on a daily basis at any geographic point in the world. The telephone rings, a woman answers it and recognizes the voice of a friend of hers who lives with her husband and their three children in a big city.

After a brief greeting the women share with each other all their disappointments of their roles as mothers and wives, the insults and un...

October 8, 2014,  Family, Script  No comments

Every moment of life is unique. It is so hard to be able to become an Observer of your own life that sometimes we have the feeling that we see nothing, that something slips away, and that we do not live the life our dreams want for it.

However the truth is that the three main life positions “live” in all of us – the roles of Victors, Visitors or Victims. At different stages of our everyday lives, one of these roles may become dominant, and the other one steps back. However there will always be one position that will be more dominant throughout our life.

Let’s look at the category “Visitor” and find out the differences between this and the one already mentioned in a previous article; that of the “Victor”.

If you are a Visitor, you will set goals for yourself, just as a...

October 2, 2014,  Family, Script  No comments

The year is 1929. “Some Like It Hot”. A wonderful movie with a smile and a wink for every fan of good plots and splendid acting. The only reason why I invite you back to remember old movies is to share the magnetic intensity and the unforgettable hand of the title. Whatever the life, everybody likes it hot! And it is our own choice on whether or not we choose to live it out in one of the three roles of Victors, Visitors, and Victims.  Each role has its own, authentic hand.

Victors, Visitors, and Victims are the three principal life positions we live out in response to our life scripts. As we have discussed before the script is the driver, while the life position is how the script is presented to the world.

Life Positions and Goals

Before I go there let me take a little detour.

Y...

September 10, 2014,  Family, Relationship, Script  No comments

People say that if you like safety, then the easiest and quickest way to make a round-the-world trip is the web map. Thus you will not have to protect yourself from the unsuccessful attempts of local cooks; you will not have to get vaccinated against all possible diseases you have never even heard of, you will not have to pack up your stuff and a bunch of other advantages of this proposed option. But I keep wondering where the joy is of the very attempt, where the true pleasure is of collecting priceless moments? If there is a fixed axis, then where is the point of looking for it or choosing the path of the empiric attempt? Where is the actual beginning of our trip around the wide world and what is its trajectory?

From the moment of your conception, you were already making distinct self-in...

August 11, 2014,  Family, Script  No comments

I suppose you have all read a bunch of candied stories as teenagers telling about good girls – princesses in most cases, who manage to finally find their prince charming after numerous stumbling blocks. Then they marry and live happily ever after. This script is the main motif of many romantic movies we can get lost in and completely negates reality. In following these stories you don’t think of whether or not this story is true. It is just that each one of us dreams of a fairy-tale outcome and seek to find our prince charming or princess in the mistaken belief that maybe it just could be.

One important lesson to learn here is that because your script for life and the rules or guidelines it contains are subconsciously passed on to you, you are most likely to copy exactly what your parent...

August 4, 2014,  Family, Fundamental Human Needs, Script  No comments

I don’t think there is anyone who would question that “Actions Can Speak Louder than Words”. And if considered from an analytical point of view, we will come to the conclusion that XXI century communication – whether verbal or not – is extremely well developed. With each day the complexity of our language changes, as it evolves, being enriched with new meanings. We may conclude that communication is a process where people exchange information with each other. However, far be it for me to even think that words are the only instrument out there. Actions are their physical materialization. And that is why we say that actions can speak louder than words!

I invite you to pause your reading here and think for a moment about what all this really means for you...

July 16, 2014,  Family, Relationship  No comments

I often hear in my work the following question: why is that we really like some people and we really do not like others?

A long time admirer may follow you just as if being bound by an invisible thread, proving his loyalty and devotion, but you keep not noticing him. At the same time, you keep running headlong after another man, whose personality and appearance do not even come close to your loyal admirer. Just as a comic’s scene, where one is running after the other one, and the other one after a third. Let me summarize it for you – there is one thing clear here: choosing a partner is not a chaotic process under the banner “destiny gave me a hint”. And yes, you thought just right – there are laws here as well.

I often advise those I am counselling to take a close look at the relat...

July 9, 2014,  Family, Relationship  No comments

It might seem that each of our stories is similar to those of others, but the one thing makes each of our stories unique is our personality and how we interpret what we experience. In order to put the pieces of the puzzle which is our relationship with our partner, we need something more than just filling in the text in our favourite magazine quiz or having a trusted conversation with a friend. We need an objective assessment of how we are, where and how we were brought up, and of the imprint our family has left on our own soul.

Let me go a little bit deeper into that: your script for life, which influences your values, beliefs, and attitudes (and consequently, what you think, feel, say, and do), also contains rules, or guidelines, about being a couple in a relationship...

July 2, 2014,  Family  No comments

What makes us who we are? The age-old question about whether nature or nurture is the dominant force in forming our personality is alive and well. Science and Psychology continue to research and debate this topic and probably will for a while yet.

I believe the answer is both as each cannot be without the other. Nature evidenced in our genetic code creates the predisposition to be a certain way. How we are nurtured, good or bad, will determine whether these predispositions find expression. Those things have an impact on you and your personality as you also affect them, your environment, and the people in it. So the way your mother affects your life, for example, is also affected by the way you affect your mother’s life.

This ultimately comes to influence everything about us whether ...

June 27, 2014,  Family, Fundamental Human Needs  No comments

What is the difference between a boy and a girl? Both sexes have just the same number of chromosomes – exactly twenty-two pairs. The twenty-third, however, is different for men and women.

This is the pair that contains the sex chromosomes that comes to determine whether we become male or female. Let’s see what happens after this. If there is a gene that determines our sex is that the same gene that determines the path of our life? Why is it that we recognize so often our parents’ reactions and words in a given situation to our own reactions and words in similar situations?

So, if Dad got mad when something went wrong, you might get mad and respond in the same way he did...