This is why rebound relationships generally do not work. When a relationship ends, you need time to grieve. Even if you were the one who decided to separate, you still need time to heal and to learn your lessons. The … Continued
The child’s response to the possibility of zero-sum love is simply to do whatever is required to survive. Sometimes, this is to be as compliant as possible to get the love to return. Sometimes it is to become loud and … Continued
The question still begs to be asked: “Why does a child make such sweeping and self-limiting choices in the first place to become a Visitor or a Victim instead of a Victor?” Surely we would all choose to be a … Continued
Here’s an example from my own life story. My father grew up in a very large family during a difficult time in history. He was born in Europe just after the First World War and was the second youngest of … Continued
“Spiritual needs” refers to the highest-order needs, those on the top rung of the ladder. While present in the child, these needs may actually lie hidden until the needs further down the ladder are met and satisfied. This is simply … Continued
The fulfillment of this need offers you peace of mind in the knowledge that you are not alone and that the struggle of life is not yours alone to bear. You are one of many. You are a member of … Continued
Children, as any of you who are parents will know, feel everything intensely. And whether they like something or dislike something, you will most often get the message loud and clear. But while children feel their feelings, they don’t know … Continued
As a child grows and has its physical needs met, there is also a fundamental need to feel safe from harm – bodily and emotionally. As with all of these fundamental needs, this need remains the same throughout life. “Safety” … Continued
As a new-born baby, your very existence depended on your parents touching you in a loving way. It might surprise you to know that this was just as important as the food they gave you. In the first few days … Continued
What I have learned from my many years in a relationship, and as a Relationship Counsellor, Coach and Therapist, is that there are several fundamental human needs that need to be satisfied for someone to have a happy life and … Continued