Stage 4 is for recoupling. The relationship between you is now reaching a critical stage as you learn about holding and nurturing your own individuality while holding and nurturing the individuality of your partner. The challenge in Stage 4 is … Continued
The third relationship stage is about discovering not only who you can be as a couple, but who you can be as an individual within it. When you can resist the pull back to the stage of exclusive attachment, you … Continued
The first stage of a relationship is a time of exclusive attachment. It creates such a strong connection that it seems that the couple cannot survive separately. The honey bee has the same attachment to a flower where both the … Continued
The Aggressor It’s often said that to survive in today’s world we need to be a little more Aggressive. That may be, though I would be more inclined to say we need to be more Assertive. Aggressor is used here … Continued
Your script is activated by the chemical response you have when you first meet the person you think will be the love of your life. In other words, you have a neurological response to every thought you have, every feeling … Continued
The question still begs to be asked: “Why does a child make such sweeping and self-limiting choices in the first place to become a Visitor or a Victim instead of a Victor?” Surely we would all choose to be a … Continued
Victims Then sadly, there is the Victim. This is a person who never makes it in the first place. Muriel James and Dorothy Jongeward describe a Victim as “One who fails to respond authentically to those around him.” In this … Continued
Let’s say Aaron, a two year old out shopping with his dad, wanders off in the shopping center. Dad needs Aaron to learn that this is unsafe, so Aaron is told that he or she shouldn’t do it. Very often, … Continued
There are a couple of other considerations regarding script development that should not be overlooked. First, I use the word “decision” broadly to describe decisions made both in or outside of conscious awareness, including those made by every child even … Continued
From the moment of your conception, you were already making distinct self-interested and self-aware decisions for and about yourself as well as about others. By the time you were eight years old, you were beginning to make major decisions not … Continued