August 4, 2014,  Family, Fundamental Human Needs, Script  No comments

I don’t think there is anyone who would question that “Actions Can Speak Louder than Words”. And if considered from an analytical point of view, we will come to the conclusion that XXI century communication – whether verbal or not – is extremely well developed. With each day the complexity of our language changes, as it evolves, being enriched with new meanings. We may conclude that communication is a process where people exchange information with each other. However, far be it for me to even think that words are the only instrument out there. Actions are their physical materialization. And that is why we say that actions can speak louder than words!

I invite you to pause your reading here and think for a moment about what all this really means for you...

July 16, 2014,  Family, Relationship  No comments

I often hear in my work the following question: why is that we really like some people and we really do not like others?

A long time admirer may follow you just as if being bound by an invisible thread, proving his loyalty and devotion, but you keep not noticing him. At the same time, you keep running headlong after another man, whose personality and appearance do not even come close to your loyal admirer. Just as a comic’s scene, where one is running after the other one, and the other one after a third. Let me summarize it for you – there is one thing clear here: choosing a partner is not a chaotic process under the banner “destiny gave me a hint”. And yes, you thought just right – there are laws here as well.

I often advise those I am counselling to take a close look at the relat...

July 9, 2014,  Family, Relationship  No comments

It might seem that each of our stories is similar to those of others, but the one thing makes each of our stories unique is our personality and how we interpret what we experience. In order to put the pieces of the puzzle which is our relationship with our partner, we need something more than just filling in the text in our favourite magazine quiz or having a trusted conversation with a friend. We need an objective assessment of how we are, where and how we were brought up, and of the imprint our family has left on our own soul.

Let me go a little bit deeper into that: your script for life, which influences your values, beliefs, and attitudes (and consequently, what you think, feel, say, and do), also contains rules, or guidelines, about being a couple in a relationship...

July 3, 2014,  Events  No comments

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If you would like to attend please ring 02 99978518 or email admin@northernbeachescounselling.com.au with the words: “Yes I would like to attend the seminar”.

July 2, 2014,  Family  No comments

What makes us who we are? The age-old question about whether nature or nurture is the dominant force in forming our personality is alive and well. Science and Psychology continue to research and debate this topic and probably will for a while yet.

I believe the answer is both as each cannot be without the other. Nature evidenced in our genetic code creates the predisposition to be a certain way. How we are nurtured, good or bad, will determine whether these predispositions find expression. Those things have an impact on you and your personality as you also affect them, your environment, and the people in it. So the way your mother affects your life, for example, is also affected by the way you affect your mother’s life.

This ultimately comes to influence everything about us whether ...

June 27, 2014,  Family, Fundamental Human Needs  No comments

What is the difference between a boy and a girl? Both sexes have just the same number of chromosomes – exactly twenty-two pairs. The twenty-third, however, is different for men and women.

This is the pair that contains the sex chromosomes that comes to determine whether we become male or female. Let’s see what happens after this. If there is a gene that determines our sex is that the same gene that determines the path of our life? Why is it that we recognize so often our parents’ reactions and words in a given situation to our own reactions and words in similar situations?

So, if Dad got mad when something went wrong, you might get mad and respond in the same way he did...

June 5, 2014,  Family, Uncategorized  No comments

“Dear, don’t leave the laundry there!” – and at that very moment I heard the voice of my mother talking to my father. Isn’t it weird how we’ve always thought that this was our voice… but is it really like this?

And how many of us could claim to be the true authors of the above. Aren’t we all the branches and the fruits of one and the same tree back in the family yard?

When you were born into your family, you were presented with your script for life. The script is the programming you undergo that defines how your life will be lived out—it’s not much different from a computer program, really...

May 28, 2014,  Uncategorized  No comments

How often do you look at yourself in the mirror? I mean how often do you really look at yourself? And have you ever felt when you’ve done this that you are looking at someone else? Just as if somebody has replaced you with another person?

Sometimes you don’t need to face the mirror in order to really feel that your concept of yourself is quite different from the reality. You are being reminded in every step in your lifethat a part of you lives in illusion – about yourself, about your relationship, and about the surrounding world.

The “lies” in the title Love, Lies, and the Games Couples Play refers to the mistaken attitudes and beliefs that we can hold about ourselves and about others...

May 22, 2014,  Fundamental Human Needs  No comments

Each of us has passed through the flower market or nursery in our city filled with aromas of a variety of wonderful flowers. Step by step, while entering deeper into garden, we discover the beauty of nature collected in a single aroma, form, and shape.

Each plant is different from the others, just as each human is different, but we all have something in common and these are the layers that build our personalities. Just as flowers have petals covering the hearts of their stamens; our human essence is also built of layers of needs ending with the layer of our Spiritual Needs. Layer by layer we are walking towards the very peak of our own needs reaching the highest level: Spiritual Needs.
“Spiritual Needs” refer to the highest-order needs, those on the top rung of the ladder...

May 8, 2014,  Fundamental Human Needs  No comments

Let me start my story with one “delicious” and indisputable fact: the first candle on your child’s first birthday cake celebrates the start of the period known as “I Belong!” This is also the start of the process of formation of your child’s emotional belonging, as from this point forward all efforts exerted by your child shall be directed towards the very development of this fundamental step called “Love and Belonging Needs”.

And what do we know about those needs? These are the feelings that cause the most heated arguments and the most varied theories. Feeling loved is what ensures the survival and selection of humankind.

Because we all come into this world defenceless, it is love that helps us to survive...