The Traffic Light for Change

The Traffic Light for ChangeIn all relationships there is only one kind of response to your partner that is acceptable. If the couple are well tuned to themselves and each other this could be happening from the beginning though for many this is a growth thing and doesn’t develop until much later as you come to know each other more.

In the meanwhile, the response each person makes could be narrowed down to one of three.

The first one is to hope that, in response to non-game playing behaviour, the other person will eventually join with their partner on the Winner’s Triangle and there’s no need to do anything except to get on with life and have your deserved “Happy Ever After” become real.

If one person however, is on the Survivor’s Triangle, he or she may try to keep the other person there by constantly challenging the situation through an invitation back to a game, which, if left unchecked, will eventually lead to an escalation of conflict to a third degree game; not where anyone really wants to be. This of course will leads to the destruction of the peace in the relationship and, more likely than not, an eventual break-up.

The third way the situation could develop is that the person who can’t step up to the Winners Triangle will look for someone else to play with. This sadly often happens when the person whose partner has stepped up to the Winner’s Triangle behaves now in a way that is baffling for the other. The person who has stepped up to the Winner’s Triangle however might actually be better off if the other decides to pull out of the relationship. Why? Simply because there can now be no more game playing.

And by the way this is always the risk you take when you decide to step up to be a Victor and live your life from the Winner’s Triangle. Hopefully, though, a risk you believe worth taking for the good of yourself and the relationship.

The Traffic Light for Change

Most people believe their intuition, their body, and in general can feel situations, and how best to respond to them, emotionally. We can feel it in the pit of our stomach when fear, anxiety or just a feeling that the situation is going the wrong way.

There is a very simple trick to get things back on track and in the right way leading to a better outcome for everyone. What I’m talking about here is a strategy which I call “the traffic light for change”.

If you are seeing the first sign of heading in a wrong direction think of the red light and stop what you are doing. This is to give you some time before you react, or answer.

At this point the light changes to yellow and this is the time for you to really think of what you truly want from the situation, how you imagine it to get out the best for you and ultimately the other, think about the consequences of that response, and what you see as the most reasonable and satisfactory outcome for you and for your partner or family as well.

This is the point where the light turns green and it’s time for you to “go”, that is, take action. Make sure you respond from the Winner’s Triangle, caring, assertively and in full awareness, and you apply all decisions and conclusions you have made in order to get the best of the situation. If worse comes to worse, at least you’d know you’ve tried and you did it with your best intentions.

The point is that we should be acting maturely in our relationships and should always give ourselves and our partner time to think and respond. We need to be aware of our thoughts, feelings and needs as the decisions and response we make should be guided by our higher conscious, which is from the Winners Triangle.

To the wonder of you,





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