The Games People Play

July 12, 2023,  Games People Play, Life, Script  No comments

The life that you ultimately come to live, and all that you think, feel, say, and do in it, is for the most part lived out subconsciously through the psychological games you play, and which are especially evident in your relationships.

Eric Berne, the same person who developed script theory, proposed that we play these psychological games for one reason only: as a way to find confirmation or validation for our deeply held values and beliefs about ourselves and about others: our life script.

To clarify this further, let’s refer back to the life positions Victor, Visitor, and Victim. Victors do not need to play games, because their lives are based on positive scripts. They are living their lives authentically, and as they are Victors, so too most often are their partners.

For the most part, as no-one is ever totally free of their script, their relationship is being lived truthfully. They will have found “happily ever after.”

Both Visitors and Victims are life positions lived from negative scripts, and as such, they play games. The type of game, and the intensity or degree to which they play them, is decided by the degree of negativity in their scripts.

All games played from a negative life script appeal to the negative script in the other person in the relationship. If the other person refuses to play, then the game should end.

In truth, everyone has a soft spot which, if pressed, can draw them into a game. This is simply the nature of life. Our life’s journey is to become as aware as we can of those soft spots so we can eradicate as much game playing as possible. This is the challenge of living more consciously to create the life we deserve.

Aggressor, Helpless, and Martyr

There are three positions from which we play our games. They are:

• The Aggressor
• The Helpless
• The Martyr

To the wonder of you,

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