Your script is activated by the chemical response you have when you first meet the person you think will be the love of your life. In other words, you have a neurological response to every thought you have, every feeling you feel, and everything you do.
When one of your nerve cells is stimulated, it releases a flood of chemicals that sets off other neurons, until a whole chain of them goes off. A physiological response to something in the environment demonstrates what happens from stimulus through to the response. If you touch something hot, a chain of nerve cells fires that alerts your brain and your body responds very quickly to remove your hand from the heat source.
Similarly, every time you think, say, feel, or do something, a line of neurons is fired off in a pathway through your nervous system. With repetition, your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors trigger these neurological responses more easily, creating habits.
Habits persist until something happens to replace or extinguish that particular pattern of being. And here is the good news: habits can be changed. |
You Can Teach an Old Dog New Tricks
This process explains the phenomenon often referred to as “patterning.” Whenever you experience some event, whether it’s negative (like smoking, or a psychological disorder like depression) or something good (like falling in love), the likelihood of it occurring again increases significantly. And the more often you experience the same event the more likely it becomes to reoccur.
If that sounds a bit complicated, and you are wondering what this could possibly have to do with choosing a partner, bear with me; it will get clearer.
As we already discussed, one reason you choose a particular person to be your partner in the first place is because of what you recognize in them that, at some level, you feel might be missing in yourself.
The truth is, what may really be driving your attraction is an underlying belief that this person will confirm your values and the beliefs you hold about yourself and others—your script—for good or for bad.
This impulse is based directly on your satisfaction of the five Fundamental Needs: your physical, safety, feeling, love and belonging, and spiritual needs. How well these were met for you as a child will create your life script, which in turn becomes your guide for choosing who you are attracted to in your adult life.
To the wonder of you,
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