July 13, 2021,
Family, Life, Love, Relationship, Script 
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For many reasons, somewhere along the way you may decide to live your life based on an alternate set of values, beliefs, attitudes, and rules. As I believe was my experience, you then have the capacity to create a new script. And in so doing, you can make new decisions about whom you might wish to have as a partner.
Rightly or wrongly, questioning your script generally only happens in the event of some crisis in your life, and then maybe only for the duration of the conflict—after which you simply go back to how it always was. Some people, though, come to question their scripts simply because they have grown in maturity. For many the experience results in a mid-life crisis, when they begin to ask, “Is this all there is?”
Of course, one must have a certain maturity to question anything. But for most of us, we do not question what is happening to us or around us; we just live out our lives with all the positives and negatives as defined by the rules we got when we were too little to question them.
And this is the curious thing about scripts and the scripting process: since we acquire our scripts at such a young age, we really don’t have the capacity to review them in any constructive way to decide if the instructions are good or not. We simply don’t have the intellectual capacity to do that when we are young. We just accept it as it is presented if for no other reason than it was what Mom or Dad said or did (so it must be right).
And it is in being in a relationship that your script finds its true expression. You can express all the positive things you learned, or all the negatives. Or even a mix of both positive and negative. I know that in my current relationship, I have married someone who I think is very much like my dad, and maybe my partner would say that he has married someone very much like his mom. This probably adds to our compatibility, though I also believe that each of us has, with our own personal work and learning, decided to live out those qualities in a more positive way than maybe either of our parents did.
For me, the good news is that I liked my dad and got on well with him, and my partner liked his mom and got on well with her.
To the wonder of you,
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