Category Relationship

Relationship Rules for Effective Communication (Part 2)

Relationship Rules for Effective CommunicationBody language, power of words, facial expression, position of the hands, waving of the hair – what do all of these mean to you when transferred into everyday communication? Is the reading of every gesture part of effective communication between people? Is it non-verbal language? I am asking myself, isn’t this the key to Relationship Rules for Effective Communication?

Of course, my experience as well as all of the big books written on this topic prove that each gesture or movement of our bodies expresses our inner condition in a moment of conversation, in a moment of a dispute, or even in a moment when we say “I love you” to our partner.

In order to be a good converser and listener at the same time you need to acquire a few simple skills and mostly you have to learn to read the code o...

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Relationship Rules for Effective Communication (Part 1)

Relationship Rules for Effective Communication

Do you know this feeling? You are angry. You want to throw yourself at your partner both physically and verbally. You want to show them how much they are wrong and how right you are with all your strength.

There is no need to answer me because everyone who has contemplated fighting fair knows what I am talking about. If we behave that way there will be no relationship left. Right?

We will be like some primitive people who cannot converse but also have never heard of communication, conversation and rules. I will share with you what I do in such situations and in this way I will present to you:

Relationship Rules for Effective Communication

First, when I feel stressed, I take whatever time I need to compose myself while looking for the most effective way to share what I want to say with the...

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Fighting Fair

Fighting Fair

There is an old children’s game known all around the world called “hide-and-seek”. No matter where you are geographically you might find differences in the name but not in the rules of the game. They are very simple: one kid counts to 10 while standing still, and without looking, while the rest of the kids run around to hide. Then the kid that has been counting so far must find the others. The last one to remain hidden and reach the starting point while saying “not found” wins.

This game looks a lot like the relationships of couples in conflict except instead of one staying and counting they both run away in order to hide from the other.

What do we notice then? We notice the lack of a dialogue of the point in dispute. This is far from playing, or “fighting”, fair.

But what is ...

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How to Deal With Conflicts

How to Deal With Conflicts

Do you remember the movie “Mr. and Mrs. Smith”? It was a battle of characters, personalities and one upmanship. Do you remember Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt in this amazing battle of wills filled with lies, deception, lots of bullets and fast cars, and the scent of a roasted meat, red wine and a few candles?

At some moments the couple were very pleasant to each other while at others they were vicious. Does the theme of this movie sound familiar? Is this a theme that is evident in your relationships? If so read on as I address how to deal with these conflicts.

By the way it is so important that you do deal with these conflicts and the sooner the better.

Why? Simply because if you don’t they can damage you and your relationship and leave a lasting scar that may never be fully recovera...

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Why Couples Fight?

Why Couples Fight?

Adam and Emily had been in a relationship for two years and were contemplating marriage. The issue however was that they could never agree on anything and even less so when the conversation turned to how they might fulfill their marriage vows.

Adam was an only child growing up and was used to having most things he wanted without having to share with siblings. He was fun loving and ambitious and well-liked by his mates and work colleagues. Emily was the youngest of five children and so was used to speaking loudly to have her voice heard at all.

Adam and Emily met at a work function where they immediately “hit it off” and became great friends. It wasn’t long before they decided that because they were spending so much time at each other’s place they might as well move in together...

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Challenges and Balance in a Relationship at Stage 5

The Balancing Act That Is a RelationshipI will try to focus your thoughts on the word “balance“. What does it mean to you?

We can all agree that the balance can be a financial, emotional, behavioural and even professional one. But which one of these characteristics has the strongest influence over the person’s feeling of happiness?

To the greatest extent the burden of the meaning of “balance” falls most significantly on your relationship with your partner. Most of the people in my office say that if they feel balanced in their relationship at home then they achieve unprecedented heights at work.

Why is it that way?

It is because every human being needs a centre to balance their social hardships...

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Stage 5: Happily Ever After

Happily Ever After

What do we really know about the power of two people who become a couple? Can we describe it with words, numbers or a vision? If for me the power of a strong relationship is expressed through my own experience and work with dozens of families, then for others it might even be expressed in the power of the family integrity expressed through much more than a life time next to one another.

I will share with you a story that moved both me and thousands of people around the world. This is a story about the power of the human spirit separately and as a part of a couple like a quadratic equation that gives the answer to the question that is Step 5 of the development of interpersonal relationships.

An inspiring example of a powerful couple

A story that keeps coming up in my local community is tha...

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Challenges for Couples in Stage 4

Beach couple - Challenges for Couples in Stage 4

The challenges for you couples in Stage 4 include expanding your ability to move easily toward and away from each other as the situation requires. You may even want to spend more time together as any lingering threat of being trapped or smothered by the other has now been resolved.

This stage also opens the way for a more adventurous sexual relationship and a willingness to explore wider frontiers with your partner as well as a wish to satisfy requests, even when it may be inconvenient to do so, or when there may be nothing coming back in return.

The real challenge in Stage 4 then is to listen to—and hear—your partner’s perspective without judgment while maintaining your own.

The emotional closeness and sexual intimacy between you may wane at times, but there is now something much g...

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Relationship Stage 4: Recoupling (When You Put “Relate” back into Relationship)

Relationship Stage 4: RecouplingHave you ever heard this Indian song?

You will start to love your life again my friend
and that is all, there’s nothing more to say
singing hey lay oh hey
singing hey lay oh ha

If life is a theatre play we are playing the fourth act of our relationship – Recoupling. This song would be the most appropriate and most meaningful music background.The World is full of wonders and individuality is one of them. In finding ourselves, our own inner Universe, we have the real opportunity to share it with another human being and to mutually exchange feelings, emotions, and life.Nothing else matters now when two human beings find their way towards one another with the freedom to communicate independently and autonomously...
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Challenges for Couples in Relationship Stage 3

Challenges for Couples in Relationship Stage 3

The principal challenge for couples in Relationship Stage 3

The principal challenge for couples in Relationship Stage 3 is to develop an even stronger personal identity and sense of self than each had before meeting—one that is separate from the relationship, while not so separate that the partners lose sight of each other. Each member of the couple gets involved again in career, hobbies, and/or interests in community activities independently of the partner. This stage is also about spending time with other friends and in other activities, reactivating and consolidating the development of one’s self-esteem, friendships, and personal interests.

Let me share with you one of the most common mistakes couples make while rediscovering their boundaries...

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