Fighting Fair

Fighting Fair

There is an old children’s game known all around the world called “hide-and-seek”. No matter where you are geographically you might find differences in the name but not in the rules of the game. They are very simple: one kid counts to 10 while standing still, and without looking, while the rest of the kids run around to hide. Then the kid that has been counting so far must find the others. The last one to remain hidden and reach the starting point while saying “not found” wins.

This game looks a lot like the relationships of couples in conflict except instead of one staying and counting they both run away in order to hide from the other.

What do we notice then? We notice the lack of a dialogue of the point in dispute. This is far from playing, or “fighting”, fair.

But what is ...

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How to Deal With Conflicts

How to Deal With Conflicts

Do you remember the movie “Mr. and Mrs. Smith”? It was a battle of characters, personalities and one upmanship. Do you remember Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt in this amazing battle of wills filled with lies, deception, lots of bullets and fast cars, and the scent of a roasted meat, red wine and a few candles?

At some moments the couple were very pleasant to each other while at others they were vicious. Does the theme of this movie sound familiar? Is this a theme that is evident in your relationships? If so read on as I address how to deal with these conflicts.

By the way it is so important that you do deal with these conflicts and the sooner the better.

Why? Simply because if you don’t they can damage you and your relationship and leave a lasting scar that may never be fully recovera...

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Why Couples Fight?

Why Couples Fight?

Adam and Emily had been in a relationship for two years and were contemplating marriage. The issue however was that they could never agree on anything and even less so when the conversation turned to how they might fulfill their marriage vows.

Adam was an only child growing up and was used to having most things he wanted without having to share with siblings. He was fun loving and ambitious and well-liked by his mates and work colleagues. Emily was the youngest of five children and so was used to speaking loudly to have her voice heard at all.

Adam and Emily met at a work function where they immediately “hit it off” and became great friends. It wasn’t long before they decided that because they were spending so much time at each other’s place they might as well move in together...

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Challenges and Balance in a Relationship at Stage 5

The Balancing Act That Is a RelationshipI will try to focus your thoughts on the word “balance“. What does it mean to you?

We can all agree that the balance can be a financial, emotional, behavioural and even professional one. But which one of these characteristics has the strongest influence over the person’s feeling of happiness?

To the greatest extent the burden of the meaning of “balance” falls most significantly on your relationship with your partner. Most of the people in my office say that if they feel balanced in their relationship at home then they achieve unprecedented heights at work.

Why is it that way?

It is because every human being needs a centre to balance their social hardships...

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Your Biggest Relationship Questions Answered

Your Biggest Relationship Questions Answered: a special 1 hour Q&A Webinar with

Your Biggest Relationship Questions Answered with Lidy Seysener and Frank Fava Your Biggest Relationship Questions Answered with Lidy Seysener and Frank Fava

Lidy Seysener

Frank Fava

Hi

A Colleague of mine Frank Fava and I are going to be presenting a webinar together next week so this is an invitation to join us and hear the two of us answer all your relationship questions, or as many as we can fit into an hour.

The topic for the event is “The Biggest Questions You Have About Relationships”.

For those who don’t know what a Webinar (Web-based Seminar) is it is an event that happens online where you will hear, in this one at least, Frank and I answering questions on what it means to be in a relationship in 2015. It is also an event where you can post (ie write down) questions as we go for us to answer.

This is the first time we’ve done this kind of ...

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Stage 5: Happily Ever After

Happily Ever After

What do we really know about the power of two people who become a couple? Can we describe it with words, numbers or a vision? If for me the power of a strong relationship is expressed through my own experience and work with dozens of families, then for others it might even be expressed in the power of the family integrity expressed through much more than a life time next to one another.

I will share with you a story that moved both me and thousands of people around the world. This is a story about the power of the human spirit separately and as a part of a couple like a quadratic equation that gives the answer to the question that is Step 5 of the development of interpersonal relationships.

An inspiring example of a powerful couple

A story that keeps coming up in my local community is tha...

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Challenges for Couples in Stage 4

Beach couple - Challenges for Couples in Stage 4

The challenges for you couples in Stage 4 include expanding your ability to move easily toward and away from each other as the situation requires. You may even want to spend more time together as any lingering threat of being trapped or smothered by the other has now been resolved.

This stage also opens the way for a more adventurous sexual relationship and a willingness to explore wider frontiers with your partner as well as a wish to satisfy requests, even when it may be inconvenient to do so, or when there may be nothing coming back in return.

The real challenge in Stage 4 then is to listen to—and hear—your partner’s perspective without judgment while maintaining your own.

The emotional closeness and sexual intimacy between you may wane at times, but there is now something much g...

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Are You Thinking About Separation or Divorce?

Click on the flyer to see it in full size.
If you would like to attend the free presentation please ring 02 99978518 or email admin@northernbeachescounselling.com.au with the words: “Yes I would like to attend the free presentation”.

 

Are You Thinking About Separation or Divorce?

 

Some excerpts from my workshops.

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Relationship Stage 4: Recoupling (When You Put “Relate” back into Relationship)

Relationship Stage 4: RecouplingHave you ever heard this Indian song?

You will start to love your life again my friend
and that is all, there’s nothing more to say
singing hey lay oh hey
singing hey lay oh ha

If life is a theatre play we are playing the fourth act of our relationship – Recoupling. This song would be the most appropriate and most meaningful music background.The World is full of wonders and individuality is one of them. In finding ourselves, our own inner Universe, we have the real opportunity to share it with another human being and to mutually exchange feelings, emotions, and life.Nothing else matters now when two human beings find their way towards one another with the freedom to communicate independently and autonomously...
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Are You Relationship Prepared?

Click on the flyer to see it in full size.
If you would like to attend the seminar please ring 02 99978518 or email admin@northernbeachescounselling.com.au with the words: “Yes I would like to attend the seminar”.

 

Are You Relationship Prepared?

 

 

Some excerpts from my workshops.

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