June 27, 2014,
Family, Fundamental Human Needs 
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What is the difference between a boy and a girl? Both sexes have just the same number of chromosomes – exactly twenty-two pairs. The twenty-third, however, is different for men and women.
This is the pair that contains the sex chromosomes that comes to determine whether we become male or female. Let’s see what happens after this. If there is a gene that determines our sex is that the same gene that determines the path of our life? Why is it that we recognize so often our parents’ reactions and words in a given situation to our own reactions and words in similar situations?
So, if Dad got mad when something went wrong, you might get mad and respond in the same way he did. Or, maybe your mother got sad when something went wrong, and depending on your personality and your closeness to each of your parents, you might respond that way instead.
And by way of a sidebar it could be worth noting here that your personality is actually already there at your birth. This phenomenon subsequently influences how you respond to events in your later life, and it also influences which parent, if any, you are most likely to imitate in your behaviours, thoughts, and feelings when confronted with a particular situation.
How you respond becomes your script; your prescription for life.
Your script can be positive or negative, depending on how you interpret and act out the instructions. On the good side, the script includes the instructions for keeping you safe by teaching you how to get along with others. It is all part of the socializing process and the protocols we should follow in living with others. Without these rules, anarchy would prevail. Everybody would only be focused on themselves, without any thought for anyone else or for any of the laws of the land that keep us all as safe as possible.
A positive script is very different from a negative script. If, in those very early years of your life, your five fundamental needs (as discussed in earlier blogs) were recognized and met, you will have grown up to be a confident adult, with a healthy, positive script.
If, on the other hand, your fundamental needs were not acknowledged or satisfied in you as a young child, then you run the risk of developing an unhealthy, negative script.
The ways you seek to have your needs met actually reflect how your parents and/or other significant people in your life modelled those ways for you.
This strange mix of biology and psychology provides a reasonable explanation of people worldwide and why is it that everything we do resembles so strongly our parents’ behaviour and why is it that we often see small parts of us in their eyes when addressing them.
It is not only the chromosomes, the genes, and your upbringing. Every single thing your brain saves and processes in your early years, each of the five vital human needs your entire life stands upon, depends on the kind of environment you have been brought up in and how that comes to interact with your genetic makeup.
Your script then is the programming, the instruction manual, for how you should interact with your world from there on in.
What are we going to impart on our children – the homemade cookbook filled with recipes collected for three generations, grandpa’s wristwatch… or something much more valuable for them as they become adults in a vastly different world to the one we knew growing up? Please, share with me your own point of view, what is your family “heritage”.
To the wonder of you,
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