August 4, 2014,
Family, Fundamental Human Needs, Script 
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I don’t think there is anyone who would question that “Actions Can Speak Louder than Words”. And if considered from an analytical point of view, we will come to the conclusion that XXI century communication – whether verbal or not – is extremely well developed. With each day the complexity of our language changes, as it evolves, being enriched with new meanings. We may conclude that communication is a process where people exchange information with each other. However, far be it for me to even think that words are the only instrument out there. Actions are their physical materialization. And that is why we say that actions can speak louder than words!
I invite you to pause your reading here and think for a moment about what all this really means for you. As a baby, your very survival depended on your parents (or whoever was responsible for caring for you). So, like everyone, you naturally expected those people to have your best interests at heart. Accordingly, you heard whatever they said and observed whatever they did as the absolute truth about how we should all be. So, if they told you that you are the best thing that ever came into their lives, you believed it, just as you would believe it if they told you that you were the curse of their lives. How could we ever believe otherwise? We simply accept this early experience as truth, because we have nothing else to compare it with.
And that’s how our choice becomes a compilation of the views of our parents and those of the environment we have been raised in. I would compare our actions with a complex recipe that includes family ingredients and personal experience. Well, some situational surprises too! Whatever the description we give to this confectionery delicacy, we need to know but one thing – each piece of it communicates with our surrounding environment.
The body movements, facial expressions, the way we speak, the things we believe in, the way we express our emotions, our dress style, the objects we possess, our conscious and unconscious gestures, actions and manners, the relations we establish – these are all our non-verbal communications and they do speak louder than words when it comes to sharing with others who we are.
So unless we consciously evaluate our presentation beliefs and actions, the way you define a relationship is likely to be very similar to the way your parents defined their relationship. Our parents’ and caregivers’ actions will speak more loudly than their words. And we might even accept certain absolutes about life from our parents, even if they were not explicitly said to us in words, in the way they were shown to us by their actions.
As I’ve already mentioned, the only time you’re likely to question your script at all is if things become uncomfortable enough that you are forced to seek professional help, encouraging you to contemplate an alternative response. And here is an unarguable truth: if you never take a hard look at your script, you can be certain it will not change. I hope you would not wait for that to happen.
And, as an extra motivator for you here’s another unarguable truth: just as the script was handed to you, you in turn, hand it on to your children.
Think of yourselves as an unfinished book and by using all the respect and attention of the preceding authors – add and finish the story. Your own story! Some might say: “Words just pop out, but actions remain present”, while others might answer: “Words just fly away, only the written remains there forever”. And they are all correct, just as we are correct about how strong impact actions can have. Sometimes Louder Than Words! This riddle is way more than constructive and significant for each individual. And I do invite you to share with me your opinion on the topic: Actions Can Speak Louder than Words.
To the wonder of you,
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