October 8, 2014,
Family, Script 
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Every moment of life is unique. It is so hard to be able to become an Observer of your own life that sometimes we have the feeling that we see nothing, that something slips away, and that we do not live the life our dreams want for it.
However the truth is that the three main life positions “live” in all of us – the roles of Victors, Visitors or Victims. At different stages of our everyday lives, one of these roles may become dominant, and the other one steps back. However there will always be one position that will be more dominant throughout our life.
Let’s look at the category “Visitor” and find out the differences between this and the one already mentioned in a previous article; that of the “Victor”.
If you are a Visitor, you will set goals for yourself, just as a Victor would. But unlike a Victor, you never quite accomplish them, and even if you do, not predictably. For example, you might want to be a top executive at a Fortune 500 international corporation, but you lack the qualifications. You waver indecisively between going back to school part time or full time or neither, and cannot quite figure out what courses to take even if you did go back to school. You seem to suffer from a perpetual mid-life crisis, but instead of doing something about it you become complacent and satisfy yourself with what you have, which is often second best or second rate.
As a Visitor (which, it must be noted, is not the same as a Victim), you actually make the best employee. You are amiable, loyal, and are happy to accept your pay without expecting more. However, as a Visitor, you might sometimes feel that life is a spectator sport, since you seem to stay in the bleachers to support your partner, your children, or your friends instead of being the one out on the field kicking the winning goals.
The world needs Visitors. You are genuinely likeable people and are what might be described as “the salt of the earth.” You must, however, decide if what you’re doing is enough for you to be happy. If it isn’t enough and you take action to improve your life, you elevate immediately to become a Victor.
And by the way if what you are doing is enough, however short it falls by anyone’s standards, your own or somebody else’s, you’re not a Visitor but actually a Victor.
Let’s check out some more of the differences. Visitors are often heard saying such things as:
• “Well, at least I didn’t…”
• “At least I have…to be grateful for.”
• “This…is good enough for me.”
• “I’m so proud that my husband/child/friend has done so well.”
Have you ever thought of how many of your loved ones count on you at a given moment? How many times have you heard your children saying “Why don’t you help me? … Bobby’s mum writes all his homework, and his dad has taught him how to bowl perfect strikes”. No matter how hard you try, it is not possible that you can always spare the time and effort needed to be the support of your loved ones and, by the way, nor should you be as that prevents them from learning how to do things for themselves.
And that indeed would be the role of a Visitor raising their child to also be a Visitor.
I intentionally summarized this category of people as amongst the best parents, employees, friends and generally people you can count on though as seen not without its limitations. These are the people that admire giving a helping hand and who also give unreserved love.
Please, share with me whether you have recognized your own qualities in my description above, and whether you feel comfortable in the role of a Visitor?
To the wonder of you,
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