They End Up Becoming Those People After All

November 15, 2021,  Family, Life, Relationship, Script  No comments

Couples who come into my office are often surprised that the partners they fell in love with seem to have become quite different people. Sometimes, knowing the mistakes their parents made in their relationships, couples have openly vowed not to become those people. But guess what so often happens? They end up becoming those people after all. 

So often, the couples I meet notice that everything they ever vowed not to become, they have become, and they are surprised to find out how powerful their subconscious scripting is.

This is usually how it is for most of us until we become aware enough of our own patterns of being to review our scripts so we can make better-informed, conscious decisions about keeping the part of the script that is working well (the positive script) and about what we can do to change what isn’t (the negative script).

The script is an ongoing, organic (alive and changing) process that continually evolves at the individual level—and at the family and cultural level as well.

So, if my first husband and I had not separated, we could have continued along the course we were on, constantly reconfirming our script beliefs, in ourselves and in each other, never knowing any better, never expecting any better, and never being truly happy in our lives together.

The point here is this: when you are not living a life of joy and happiness and are living with the beliefs of a negative script, then there will always be a sense in you that something is not right. You might delude (the lies we spoke of earlier) yourself into believing that your unease is more about the other person than about yourself, but it is about you as well.

To the wonder of you,

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