May 1, 2020,
Fundamental Human Needs 
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As a new-born baby, your very existence depended on your parents touching you in a loving way. It might surprise you to know that this was just as important as the food they gave you.
In the first few days after a baby is born, and before the mother’s milk “comes in,” the baby discovers the mother through touch. The baby may suck from the breast not for food, but for the pleasure of the physical closeness that activity gives the baby.
The colostrum that the mother produces during this time is simply for boosting the baby’s immune system. It has very little food value, which is why in the first few days after birth, most babies tend to lose weight before they start putting it on.
Mutual bonding is also important for the mother at this time. The baby and mother become inextricably attached to each other in such a profound way that the pathway for the child’s future relationships is being laid in this simple act. If a secure bond between baby and mother is not established, then the impact on the child’s relationships in later life will be evident.
The physical needs of the child are ongoing for the whole of life and do not diminish in any way as the child becomes an adult. So whether you are one year old or 101 years old, this need, like all the fundamental needs, is still present and requires satisfaction for you to continue to feel good about yourself and about your life.
As you grow, the way your physical needs are met may vary slightly, but the process still involves the need to receive touch—and to give it. It is about skin-to-skin contact between two people. It includes being hugged, kissed, stroked, and, in adulthood, to have a rewarding sexual relationship with someone. It might even include just sitting close to each other when watching television or holding hands when you are out walking.
This need is fulfilled by close physical connection with your partner where there is no fear of being hurt or touched in a way that does not feel right for you.
The Story of Beth and Roger
“Beth” and “Roger” are a fairly typical couple who have been together for many years and have raised three children, all now adult. One of the children was having a special birthday, so invitations went out to all to celebrate the day at Beth and Roger’s home. A sibling to the birthday child expressed that he was busy and would not be able to make it.
Beth, particularly, was upset by this and needed to express her disappointment. She needed to have Roger listen and offer some physical comfort. This might have been nothing more than the want for a hug and some words of reassurance. Roger, however, felt unable to do these things and sharply expressed a want for Beth to sort herself out and “get over it.”
Beth wanted her most fundamental need met—of being physically close—and Roger was unable to provide this for her.
Add your comment regarding Beth and Rogers reactions to the situation they now found themselves in. I’m curious to hear what you think.
To the wonder of you,
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