April 23, 2014,
Fundamental Human Needs 
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As a Relationship Counselor, Coach and Therapist, I have learned that there are several fundamental human needs that we all need to have a happy life. I have already written about them collectively in my article “Five “Secret” Keys to Create Your Own Fairy Tale”.
These fundamental human needs are like staircase steps – all five steps exist in unity and harmony.
The very first of these steps is for the Physical Needs to be met. Let me go into a little more detail about this first step.
As a newborn baby, your very existence depended on your parents touching you in a loving way. It might surprise you to know that this was just as important as the food they gave you.
In the first few days after a baby is born, and before the mother’s milk “comes in,” the baby discovers the mother through touch. The baby may suck from the breast not for food, but for the pleasure of the physical closeness that activity gives the baby.
Mutual bonding is also important for the mother at this time. The baby and mother become inextricably attached to each other in such a profound way that the pathway for the child’s future relationships is being laid in this simple act. If a secure bond between baby and mother is established then the impact on the child’s relationships in later life will be evident. Similarly if that secure bond is not established in those first weeks of life then the impact on that in later relationships will also become evident in later life.
It is vitally important that parents realize the importance of the needs of physical and emotional closeness for babies and children in view of their optimum overall development. The touch, the hug, the cuddle, the game, and all forms of physical contact remain then even as adults.
As you grow, the way your physical needs are met may vary slightly, but the process still involves the need to receive touch—and to give it. It is about skin-to-skin contact between two people. It includes being hugged, kissed, stroked, and, in adulthood, to have a rewarding sexual relationship with someone.
It might even include just sitting close to each other when watching television or holding hands when you are out walking. This need is fulfilled by close physical connection with your partner where there is no fear of being hurt or touched in a way that does not feel right for you.
Researches of many years have shown that not just babies but adults as well have a positive reaction to physical contact – touching, cuddles, stroking and kisses. This is the absolute proof of the existential significance of The Physical Needs as The Most Fundamental of Human Needs.
I’d love to know your thoughts on the importance of physical touch. Please share with me your story about your experience of physical closeness and at which stage of your life did you need that closeness the most.
To the wonder of you
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