May 6, 2015,
Family, Relationship 
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I like the analogy between the relationship and the Chinese Yin Yang symbol. Similarities are obvious at several levels. The male and female beginning is represented by the black and white colours. If we look at the symbol of the circle and infinity, we will see that these two individualities are brilliantly combined in a whole. And translated into the language of our partnership, Yin and Yang are two separate identities bound together in an eternal union. From the point of view of the inner-couple relations, the key accent here is the numbers two and one. The difference in the sequence of the numbers in this case is of fundamental significance.
Rediscovering Your Boundaries: Where, Exactly, Do I Begin and End?
Therefore, this stage is about you moving from an undifferentiated “we” back to an individual “me.”
In this stage, the “we” part of you continues to be reassessed, while the balance continues to tip more and more in favour of each partner’s further exploration of their separateness within the relationship.
This essential and critical stage often presents a real obstacle for each person in the relationship. It may seem as if your love and care for each other has diminished even further, or has even entirely disappeared, as you struggle to grasp onto what little of each of yourselves still exists.
A natural consequence of this stage might be explained this way: the more one person distances from the other — as should happen — the more the other attempts to hang on. Then, the first person pulls away even further. If you distance yourselves simultaneously, you may even start to feel more like housemates than lovers, isolated and emotionally disconnected.
At this stage of the relationship rediscovering the essence of Self takes place at several levels: behavioural, sexual, and communicative. And here is the moment, when you can be thirsty for communication with any other person besides your partner; you may have sexual desire towards any other person besides your partner. This stage is a true collision with reality called rediscovering your boundaries. Be sure that his/her thoughts are just the same.
If you are going through Stage 3 together and in parallel, then you will experience the collision of mirror feelings, emotions, doubts, and desires. Therefore, if she or he has no desire to share anything about their day at the office while having dinner, then you will also soon feel your own lack of desire to share your career experiences on the following day.
The purpose of this stage is to give each of you an opportunity to redefine who you now are as individuals following the entanglement of your life with that of another.
How have you managed going through this stage? Has it been a rowing experience for you?
To the wonder of you,
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