October 25, 2018,
Counselling, Family, Fundamental Human Needs, Love, Relationship, Sex 
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Many couples use the state of their sex life as a barometer for what is going on in the rest of their relationship. I also suggest that the converse works as well: what is going on in your relationship and in each of your personal lives can also affect your sex life.
Libido levels rise and fall with circumstances. Maybe one person is too stressed to make sex good for their partner, let alone for him or herself. Work pressures can distract couples from giving positive sexual attention to each other.
An episode of ill health can affect your sex life. It could be something that directly affects the sex organs like prostate cancer, or just stress, or your diet. Maybe you need to exercise more or you feel overweight. You might need more sleep, or even just more fun.
You should monitor all of these factors so that you are always at your optimum health, to best handle everything that life throws at you.
Sometimes you just have to stop trying so hard. Being truly intimate with someone is not just about the sexual act. Intimacy can be just being physically close to another, whether this is in bed, in the bath, or just touching someone in a loving way as you brush past.
You want to prevent sex from being boring (but never push someone into something they don’t want to do!). Explore new ways of connecting with each other, using all of your body and all of your senses, and just enjoy the fun of exploring.
Of course, your sexual attraction to another could be influenced by your script beliefs. But as you grow in yourself and start to change your script, you can end up seeing your partner in a new and different light, untainted by archaic beliefs. Happily, this kind of growth also means every sexual experience can be new and different.
Your best move is always to ensure that you conduct your relationship from the Winner’s Triangle. Speak up assertively for what you want in your sexual relationship. Say what you are open to doing or being, and what you are not open to for your partner. Always respond to each other in a caring way, recognizing and being open with the areas in which you are each most vulnerable.
Sexual issues should always be considered with care and in the knowledge that with time and support, they can usually be worked through to revive your sexual relationship. There is also specialist help for those who are struggling with this part of relationship so if you need some help make sure to ask for it.
To the wonder of you,
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