Common Reasons for the Games People Play

November 25, 2015,  Games People Play, Relationship, Script  No comments

In the previous article I talked about a very delicate and manipulative game we grown-ups play sometimes. The game is ‘Why Don’t You…?’ and ‘Yes, but…’ Some people have played so much; they don’t even realize that they are playing it.

Why though? Common reasons for the games people play

In the previous article I mentioned just two of the reasons for the games people play. Here are some other reasons:

3. The “brownie points” revenge. Brownie points in the real world are collected and cashed in for something valuable, but in this context they are being collected to cash in for a damaging such as a negative feeling or outcome for the game partner. The underlying belief is that either someone owes someone else something or that someone needs to do something for someone else. No matter if it is a guilt based or wish based game the outcome is the same – the games just keep on going.

4. Parental script confirmation. This is simply to prove true what your parents always said when you were young about who or what you are. You may still believe it subconsciously, even if you disagree with it consciously. That is why someone acts like the Martyr or like the Helpless depending on the way they were raised and what role they were given in the family.

5. I’m not okay. No one is. What does it mean to be okay really? Is it that you have fulfilled your dreams, or that you’ve helped someone else find theirs? Or is it that you are okay when your mind feels relaxed and your heart filled with love? Whatever it is there is only one person responsible to turn it from a ‘not okay’ status to an ‘okay’ one and it’s you. You choose whether you’re a Victor, a Visitor or a Victim after all.

6. Avoid intimacy. Even though it is destructive, this reason for game playing is to maintain enough distance to prevent any possibility of becoming really close to someone else. And grown-ups mind games can even be used as a distraction from what might be asked from a Helpless victim – intimacy. The more someone opens their personality, their dreams and fears, and in general themselves, the more vulnerable they become and the possibility of harm seems closer.

7. Control freak. If you do a particular thing, you will always get a predictable response from the people you are playing the game with. Knowing what is going to happen gives you the power of control and you easily get what you want and this makes you feel stronger.

8. Boredom. Some people play games simply because they have nothing better to do. You know these people; they are the ones who just pick fights for seemingly no reason at all. Because to play games with someone is better than having nothing with which to identify.

I will be happy to hear your comments about what you think of the topic and what other games you might also able to recognize in your lives.

To the wonder of you,

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