As a child grows and has its physical needs met, there is also a fundamental need to feel safe from harm – bodily and emotionally. As with all of these fundamental needs, this need remains the same throughout life. “Safety” … Continued
I would like to say something about the title of my book Love, Lies, and the Games Couples Play. Put simply, love, and all that it embodies for us, is what each of us seeks in life above all else. … Continued
Love – A Never-Ending Story While I ended this story with “She lived happily ever after,” in truth, the “ever after” has not come to be yet. The story is really never ending. Every day offers my partner and me … Continued
In The Games People Play, Eric Berne defined the process of becoming autonomous (self-determining) as the manifestation of the “release or recovery of three capacities: awareness, spontaneity, and intimacy.” Let’s take a closer look at the first of Berne’s three … Continued
I use the acronym TOUCH to remember the five ways of funding my love bank. T is for Time Relationships aren’t part-time arrangements. And, if your relationship is fed on left-over time (the time you have after everything else has … Continued
Theoretically, the more money you invest, the greater the return. And if you’re a patient investor, you can even double or triple the return. Similarly, the unconditional love you give to your partner is a very wise investment. And just … Continued
An Exercise: To discover your conditions for great sex: Get a piece of paper and a pen and set aside half an hour or so. Think back to your best-ever sexual experience or experiences. If you have never had a … Continued
Many couples use the state of their sex life as a barometer for what is going on in the rest of their relationship. I also suggest that the converse works as well: what is going on in your relationship and … Continued
“How often is normal?” is a perennial question. There is really no answer, because what is normal for one couple may be quite different for another. But what is normal for them depends on how they both respond to a … Continued
Although it is not always the case, men tend to be turned on sexually more easily than women. Men may also be turned on more easily by sexual stimuli, including fantasy. In addition, sexual tension in a healthy male … Continued