March 28, 2022,
Counselling, Family, Games People Play, Life, Script 
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Let’s say Aaron, a two year old out shopping with his dad, wanders off in the shopping center. Dad needs Aaron to learn that this is unsafe, so Aaron is told that he or she shouldn’t do it.
Very often, children like Aaron will not understand the information itself, but will grasp something from the parent’s tone of voice, and from the fact that he is made to sit down and listen, that something is wrong.
If Aaron is sufficiently alarmed by his dad’s response, he may get the idea of the message and not reoffend though this may be out of fear of a further reprimand. Alternatively, he may retaliate as a way of testing the limits of permitted behavior.
Whatever the response, i.e. what Aaron’s dad does at this critical moment results in him learning something positive or negative about himself and about others, and about who the boss in that family is and who makes the decisions. And while the dad may explain the dangers of wandering, Aaron may actually not understand them clearly until many years later.
In addition, the number of decisions a child like Aaron can make at a critical juncture like this is unlimited. The parent can’t always know exactly what those will be despite their good intentions to create a positive outcome from the experience.
And despite what parents do and say, the child constantly makes decisions, then revises and remakes them, about everything and anything as she or he experiences new things and matures intellectually.
This process continues into adulthood and has both positive and negative outcomes.
The point worth noting here is that while parents can exert a major influence on the script decisions a child makes, they cannot determine them.
| Every child sees the world from his or her own perspective, and the inevitable decisions a child makes about his or her own life is based on it. |
Early script decisions are generally made and acted out in a state of unawareness, i.e., subconsciously. Only those who consciously work with their script can actually discover what their script says to them. It is only from a position of awareness that you can change your script and the decisions you make about your life. And by the way this generally can’t happen completely until you have the intellectual wherewithal to review your life critically.
Due to your childhood decisions and parental programming, you constantly look for and find justification for your script. Once your parents’ job is done, you then seek validation from others as well as from within yourself. Here is where all the parental messages and values that your actual parents and parent substitutes first gave you now reside.
To the wonder of you,
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