safety needs tagged posts

November 12, 2014,  Family, Fundamental Human Needs  No comments

What do kid’s thoughts hide?

Every child is an individual and unique in the eyes of his/her parents. But what happens when a child does not understand the actions of his/her own parents?

It is really important to understand that the child’s thinking pattern is different from that of an adult. Very young children can really only think in concrete terms. That is, to them, something only exists if it can be seen, and it only exists in one form. The expansion in thinking follows a developmental path just as physical growth does.

Emotional growth also follows a developmental path. A young child feels all their feelings intensely and without any real capacity to control them. Just imagine a child throwing a temper tantrum and what’s really going on for them...

November 5, 2014,  Family, Fundamental Human Needs, Script  No comments

Why we choose to be a Victor, Visitor or Victim

In previous articles we took a closer look at the basic features of the three typologies of human behaviour, namely: Victor, Visitor or Victim. However, a small secret has remained unrevealed – Why we choose to be a Victor, Visitor or Victim. I guess you are asking yourself why, despite willing to be Victors, we more and more often see ourselves as Visitors, and even worse for our ego – Victims. Where and how does our view of life transform? The answer, as usual, is short and very simple – within ourselves, in our views formed in early childhood.

And please, let me underline one more point here:

Visitors and Victims exist simply because survival is the prime concern for the child we all once were.

In the story of Alex and Tamara

June 27, 2014,  Family, Fundamental Human Needs  No comments

What is the difference between a boy and a girl? Both sexes have just the same number of chromosomes – exactly twenty-two pairs. The twenty-third, however, is different for men and women.

This is the pair that contains the sex chromosomes that comes to determine whether we become male or female. Let’s see what happens after this. If there is a gene that determines our sex is that the same gene that determines the path of our life? Why is it that we recognize so often our parents’ reactions and words in a given situation to our own reactions and words in similar situations?

So, if Dad got mad when something went wrong, you might get mad and respond in the same way he did...

April 28, 2014,  Fundamental Human Needs  No comments

As a child grows and has their physical needs met, there is also a fundamental need to feel safe from harm – physically and emotionally. “Safety” here means the knowledge that someone – your parents when you were a child, and your partner when you are in an adult relationship – will always be there for you. You need to feel that this person will always be a “soft place” on whom to fall when you need someone the most, but also in good times as well as in times of distress.

As with all of these fundamental needs, this need remains the same throughout life.

Safety Needs may also be described with an extremely efficient metaphor: safety is just as feeling hungry – the way one cannot feel partially hungry, the same way each of us cannot feel partially safe.

Safety Needs is not just th...

April 16, 2014,  Fundamental Human Needs  No comments

Imagine that the postman brings you mail consisting of an envelope with sender “Change” and your name proudly sticking out as a recipient. You go back home, open the envelope with bated breath, and discover a ticket waiting for you inside. The flight destination is your own personal happiness, and the departure day is TODAY!

How many steps do you actually need to reach your happiness? The answer is: five. Five steps to create your “Happily Ever After”.

What I have learned from my many years in a relationship, and as a Relationship Counselor, Coach and Therapist, is that there are five fundamental human needs that need to be satisfied for someone to have a happy life and a rewarding and enduring relationship.

These are the “secrets”.

Let’s look at each step in detail in the form of steps o...