program tagged posts

October 15, 2014,  Family, Script  No comments

I have already spoken about Victors and Visitors. Now I want to talk about Victims. This is the life position of a person who never quite makes it. Who always seems to be left behind or misses out when something is being given out.

A Victim is simply a person for whom everything seems to go wrong (nothing ever seems to go right, either), and a person who thinks that everyone has it in for him or her.

Let me tell you a short story that takes place on a daily basis at any geographic point in the world. The telephone rings, a woman answers it and recognizes the voice of a friend of hers who lives with her husband and their three children in a big city.

After a brief greeting the women share with each other all their disappointments of their roles as mothers and wives, the insults and un...

October 8, 2014,  Family, Script  No comments

Every moment of life is unique. It is so hard to be able to become an Observer of your own life that sometimes we have the feeling that we see nothing, that something slips away, and that we do not live the life our dreams want for it.

However the truth is that the three main life positions “live” in all of us – the roles of Victors, Visitors or Victims. At different stages of our everyday lives, one of these roles may become dominant, and the other one steps back. However there will always be one position that will be more dominant throughout our life.

Let’s look at the category “Visitor” and find out the differences between this and the one already mentioned in a previous article; that of the “Victor”.

If you are a Visitor, you will set goals for yourself, just as a...

October 2, 2014,  Family, Script  No comments

The year is 1929. “Some Like It Hot”. A wonderful movie with a smile and a wink for every fan of good plots and splendid acting. The only reason why I invite you back to remember old movies is to share the magnetic intensity and the unforgettable hand of the title. Whatever the life, everybody likes it hot! And it is our own choice on whether or not we choose to live it out in one of the three roles of Victors, Visitors, and Victims.  Each role has its own, authentic hand.

Victors, Visitors, and Victims are the three principal life positions we live out in response to our life scripts. As we have discussed before the script is the driver, while the life position is how the script is presented to the world.

Life Positions and Goals

Before I go there let me take a little detour.

Y...

September 26, 2014,  Script  No comments

Do you have any idea what really happens once a product is ready to be marketed? A product is permitted onto the market only after a series of researches of conscious and unconscious decisions, the rational and irrational motives of customers, have been explored when it comes to what the consumer is looking for and what they are then willing to pay for it.

Why do we need all this? Does good analysis ensure the future of a given product? Short answer? Yes...

August 11, 2014,  Family, Script  No comments

I suppose you have all read a bunch of candied stories as teenagers telling about good girls – princesses in most cases, who manage to finally find their prince charming after numerous stumbling blocks. Then they marry and live happily ever after. This script is the main motif of many romantic movies we can get lost in and completely negates reality. In following these stories you don’t think of whether or not this story is true. It is just that each one of us dreams of a fairy-tale outcome and seek to find our prince charming or princess in the mistaken belief that maybe it just could be.

One important lesson to learn here is that because your script for life and the rules or guidelines it contains are subconsciously passed on to you, you are most likely to copy exactly what your parent...

July 16, 2014,  Family, Relationship  No comments

I often hear in my work the following question: why is that we really like some people and we really do not like others?

A long time admirer may follow you just as if being bound by an invisible thread, proving his loyalty and devotion, but you keep not noticing him. At the same time, you keep running headlong after another man, whose personality and appearance do not even come close to your loyal admirer. Just as a comic’s scene, where one is running after the other one, and the other one after a third. Let me summarize it for you – there is one thing clear here: choosing a partner is not a chaotic process under the banner “destiny gave me a hint”. And yes, you thought just right – there are laws here as well.

I often advise those I am counselling to take a close look at the relat...

June 27, 2014,  Family, Fundamental Human Needs  No comments

What is the difference between a boy and a girl? Both sexes have just the same number of chromosomes – exactly twenty-two pairs. The twenty-third, however, is different for men and women.

This is the pair that contains the sex chromosomes that comes to determine whether we become male or female. Let’s see what happens after this. If there is a gene that determines our sex is that the same gene that determines the path of our life? Why is it that we recognize so often our parents’ reactions and words in a given situation to our own reactions and words in similar situations?

So, if Dad got mad when something went wrong, you might get mad and respond in the same way he did...

June 5, 2014,  Family, Uncategorized  No comments

“Dear, don’t leave the laundry there!” – and at that very moment I heard the voice of my mother talking to my father. Isn’t it weird how we’ve always thought that this was our voice… but is it really like this?

And how many of us could claim to be the true authors of the above. Aren’t we all the branches and the fruits of one and the same tree back in the family yard?

When you were born into your family, you were presented with your script for life. The script is the programming you undergo that defines how your life will be lived out—it’s not much different from a computer program, really...

May 28, 2014,  Uncategorized  No comments

How often do you look at yourself in the mirror? I mean how often do you really look at yourself? And have you ever felt when you’ve done this that you are looking at someone else? Just as if somebody has replaced you with another person?

Sometimes you don’t need to face the mirror in order to really feel that your concept of yourself is quite different from the reality. You are being reminded in every step in your lifethat a part of you lives in illusion – about yourself, about your relationship, and about the surrounding world.

The “lies” in the title Love, Lies, and the Games Couples Play refers to the mistaken attitudes and beliefs that we can hold about ourselves and about others...