human nature tagged posts

September 1, 2015,  Family, Games People Play, Relationship, Relationship Tips  No comments

Do you know this feeling? You are angry. You want to throw yourself at your partner both physically and verbally. You want to show them how much they are wrong and how right you are with all your strength.

There is no need to answer me because everyone who has contemplated fighting fair knows what I am talking about. If we behave that way there will be no relationship left. Right?

We will be like some primitive people who cannot converse but also have never heard of communication, conversation and rules. I will share with you what I do in such situations and in this way I will present to you:

Relationship Rules for Effective Communication

First, when I feel stressed, I take whatever time I need to compose myself while looking for the most effective way to share what I want to say with the...

August 24, 2015,  Family, Games People Play, Relationship, Relationship Tips  No comments

There is an old children’s game known all around the world called “hide-and-seek”. No matter where you are geographically you might find differences in the name but not in the rules of the game. They are very simple: one kid counts to 10 while standing still, and without looking, while the rest of the kids run around to hide. Then the kid that has been counting so far must find the others. The last one to remain hidden and reach the starting point while saying “not found” wins.

This game looks a lot like the relationships of couples in conflict except instead of one staying and counting they both run away in order to hide from the other.

What do we notice then? We notice the lack of a dialogue of the point in dispute. This is far from playing, or “fighting”, fair.

But what is ...

July 23, 2015,  Family, Games People Play, Relationship  No comments

Adam and Emily had been in a relationship for two years and were contemplating marriage. The issue however was that they could never agree on anything and even less so when the conversation turned to how they might fulfill their marriage vows.

Adam was an only child growing up and was used to having most things he wanted without having to share with siblings. He was fun loving and ambitious and well-liked by his mates and work colleagues. Emily was the youngest of five children and so was used to speaking loudly to have her voice heard at all.

Adam and Emily met at a work function where they immediately “hit it off” and became great friends. It wasn’t long before they decided that because they were spending so much time at each other’s place they might as well move in together...

July 8, 2015,  Family, Relationship  No comments

I will try to focus your thoughts on the word “balance“. What does it mean to you?

We can all agree that the balance can be a financial, emotional, behavioural and even professional one. But which one of these characteristics has the strongest influence over the person’s feeling of happiness?

To the greatest extent the burden of the meaning of “balance” falls most significantly on your relationship with your partner. Most of the people in my office say that if they feel balanced in their relationship at home then they achieve unprecedented heights at work.

Why is it that way?

It is because every human being needs a centre to balance their social hardships...

June 18, 2015,  Family, Relationship  No comments

What do we really know about the power of two people who become a couple? Can we describe it with words, numbers or a vision? If for me the power of a strong relationship is expressed through my own experience and work with dozens of families, then for others it might even be expressed in the power of the family integrity expressed through much more than a life time next to one another.

I will share with you a story that moved both me and thousands of people around the world. This is a story about the power of the human spirit separately and as a part of a couple like a quadratic equation that gives the answer to the question that is Step 5 of the development of interpersonal relationships.

An inspiring example of a powerful couple

A story that keeps coming up in my local community is tha...

June 11, 2015,  Family, Relationship  No comments

The challenges for you couples in Stage 4 include expanding your ability to move easily toward and away from each other as the situation requires. You may even want to spend more time together as any lingering threat of being trapped or smothered by the other has now been resolved.

This stage also opens the way for a more adventurous sexual relationship and a willingness to explore wider frontiers with your partner as well as a wish to satisfy requests, even when it may be inconvenient to do so, or when there may be nothing coming back in return.

The real challenge in Stage 4 then is to listen to—and hear—your partner’s perspective without judgment while maintaining your own.

The emotional closeness and sexual intimacy between you may wane at times, but there is now something much g...

June 10, 2015,  Events  No comments

Click on the flyer to see it in full size.
If you would like to attend the free presentation please ring 02 99978518 or email admin@northernbeachescounselling.com.au with the words: “Yes I would like to attend the free presentation”.

Some excerpts from my workshops.

May 15, 2015,  Events  No comments

Click on the flyer to see it in full size.
If you would like to attend the seminar please ring 02 99978518 or email admin@northernbeachescounselling.com.au with the words: “Yes I would like to attend the seminar”.

Some excerpts from my workshops.

May 13, 2015,  Family, Relationship  No comments

The principal challenge for couples in Relationship Stage 3

The principal challenge for couples in Relationship Stage 3 is to develop an even stronger personal identity and sense of self than each had before meeting—one that is separate from the relationship, while not so separate that the partners lose sight of each other. Each member of the couple gets involved again in career, hobbies, and/or interests in community activities independently of the partner. This stage is also about spending time with other friends and in other activities, reactivating and consolidating the development of one’s self-esteem, friendships, and personal interests.

Let me share with you one of the most common mistakes couples make while rediscovering their boundaries...

May 6, 2015,  Family, Relationship  No comments

I like the analogy between the relationship and the Chinese Yin Yang symbol. Similarities are obvious at several levels. The male and female beginning is represented by the black and white colours. If we look at the symbol of the circle and infinity, we will see that these two individualities are brilliantly combined in a whole. And translated into the language of our partnership, Yin and Yang are two separate identities bound together in an eternal union. From the point of view of the inner-couple relations, the key accent here is the numbers two and one. The difference in the sequence of the numbers in this case is of fundamental significance.

Rediscovering Your Boundaries: Where, Exactly, Do I Begin and End?

Therefore, this stage is about you moving from an undifferentiated “we” back to...