February 26, 2018,
Family, Fundamental Human Needs, Life, Love, Relationship, Script 
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Please speak my language
In general, if you aren’t showed love the exact way you imagined love looks, it doesn’t at all mean that you aren’t loved. It has nothing to do with lack of love, but with the fact that we all of us have been scripted not only to value ourselves and others in particular ways, but also in the way we prefer to be shown love. We tend to create a picture of how we see love and this turns into the language of love that we speak with our partner.
Although you experience the expression of love from another in many ways they broadly group together according to the five senses. In the early stage of falling in love our senses become extra sensitive when we’re close to someone. Physical experiences can be felt as tingles down the body by the touch of the other person or even simply by that person looking at you. Their voice makes your heart beat faster. Your body is open to that love because it is offered unconditionally, just as it was when you were a baby.
Of course, the way we prefer to be shown love says a lot about our personalities and the way we received love as a child, as well as the amount of love received. If your “inner child” didn’t get enough touch, it’s very logical to crave for it as an adult. Or maybe you just didn’t get enough love in general when you were a child, so you crave any recognition at all, no matter what form it comes in. Interestingly, if you did receive enough touch as a child, now as an adult the touch by other people gives you just good experience – what it is supposed to do, and you long to receive it again and again.
When in an intimate relationship we expose ourselves and in particular our “inner child”. It directly communicates with the other person’s inner child because your inner child wants to connect with your partner at your deepest level, as long as it can safely enjoy the expression of love, without anxiety.
Of course, things can also turn out the other way around. While one person craves and responds positively to another’s loving someone else may reject it entirely. What you haven’t been given as a child is unconsciously wort after in order to continue “feeding” your script beliefs.
It happens so that if we were told as child that we aren’t loveable, we continue seeking confirmation about this in others, instead of to confirm ourselves the opposite. It is impossible to open yourself to another person if you believe that you’re unlovable.
This may seem like a contradiction. At our absolute core all we ever really want is to be loved so why would we reject it? Our script belief abut ourselves and how loveable, or not, we really are will ultimately win out unless we change that notion and allow ourselves to embrace all the love we are offered and offer all the love we have.
To the wonder of you,
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