Category Sex

May 20, 2021,  Family, Life, Love, Relationship, Script, Sex  No comments

Let’s apply this notion to the concept of being a couple. Your script for life, which influences your values, beliefs, and attitudes (and consequently, what you think, feel, say, and do), also contains rules, or guidelines, about being a couple in a relationship.

Because your script (and therefore your rules for being a couple) was first given to you by your family, you will most likely grow up and live out their relationship rules accordingly.

The relationship rules in your script tell you how to communicate with your partner, how to express love to each other, and how to interact with each other sexually.

So, if your parents showed you that it was OK to put each other down, then you will have that in your scripting as well – either as the person who puts others down or as...

December 21, 2018,  Exercise, Love, Relationship, Relationship Tips, Sex  No comments

An Exercise:

To discover your conditions for great sex:

1.  Get a piece of paper and a pen and set aside half an hour or so. Think back to your best-ever sexual experience or experiences. If you have never had a great sexual experience, just imagine one or go find one of your favorite romantic movies.
2. Now write down all the things that made (or would have made) the experience(s) so good. They could be emotional factors (being in love or happy and relaxed), physical factors (feeling fit, well, and sober), relationship factors (feeling safe or in love with your partner), or situational factors, such as privacy or timing.
3. Next, think of your worst (or your imagined worst) sexual experience...

October 25, 2018,  Counselling, Family, Fundamental Human Needs, Love, Relationship, Sex  No comments

Many couples use the state of their sex life as a barometer for what is going on in the rest of their relationship. I also suggest that the converse works as well: what is going on in your relationship and in each of your personal lives can also affect your sex life.

Libido levels rise and fall with circumstances. Maybe one person is too stressed to make sex good for their partner, let alone for him or herself. Work pressures can distract couples from giving positive sexual attention to each other.

An episode of ill health can affect your sex life. It could be something that directly affects the sex organs like prostate cancer, or just stress, or your diet. Maybe you need to exercise more or you feel overweight. You might need more sleep, or even just more fun.

You should monitor all of t...

September 17, 2018,  Family, Life, Love, Relationship, Sex  No comments

“How often is normal?” is a perennial question.

There is really no answer, because what is normal for one couple may be quite different for another.

But what is normal for them depends on how they both respond to a whole array of things that reflect the state of the couple at any given moment.

Note, too, that some couples prefer frequent sex, and some do not. In fact, some couples have a very happy relationship without any sex at all. Let me qualify any misconception here by saying that the use of the term “sex” in this discussion refers to the physical act of intercourse. For many though, for whatever reason, intercourse is not possible, but this does not preclude these people’s capacity for closeness in a very intimate or even sexual way by some other definition of the term.

T...

August 9, 2018,  Love, Relationship, Sex  No comments

Although it is not always the case, men tend to be turned on sexually more easily than women. Men may also be turned on more easily by sexual stimuli, including fantasy. In addition, sexual tension in a healthy male begins to build again immediately after ejaculation, so men can be ready for sex again quite quickly, although this response slows down with age or health issues. Men can also most often complete the full sexual response cycle sooner.

Men and Sex

Ejaculation can occur on penetration, or even before, but this isn’t always accompanied by orgasm. That takes longer and requires a man to learn to control ejaculation if he is to explore the full range of pleasure he can experience...

July 2, 2018,  Love, Relationship, Sex  No comments

Each of us has our own turn-ons and turn-offs, and our degree of ease around each of these will impact how responsive we are to each other at any given time—not just sexually, but in all of our most intimate moments.

Sexual inhibitors and enhancers (we can think of them as intimacy inhibitors and enhancers), can be broadly categorised into four different types: physical, psychological, partner (the way you act in relationship), and place: the “four P’s” of Intimacy.

Sexual Inhibitors

Physical

• Libido differences
• Tiredness or physical fatigue
• Physical discomfort (headache, injury, illness)
• Poor general health
• Excess intake of alcohol or medications

Psychological

• Lack of emotional wellbeing (stress, anger, fear, guilt, sadness, anxiety, shame)
• Low self-esteem
• Inadequate understa...

May 7, 2018,  Love, Relationship, Sex  No comments

Sex doesn’t always mean love, but love is very much linked to sex. It is the one very special way you can express your love with your partner, at your most vulnerable.

We all know that for a relationship to remain healthy it requires open communication; exposing yourself honestly and emotionally to another person. It’s the same with sex. It’s just another way of having a conversation with your most loved. Most importantly, this should be the place in your relationship where you are most safe to have the freedom to express yourself in an open and honest way.

It’s seems to be a fairly common belief that being sexual and achieving sexual satisfaction are automatic responses that just click in out of nowhere if the right buttons are pressed and if the “recipe” is followed correctly...